Things I just do not understand, which require and answer
such as asshole, moron, jerkwad, fool, liberal, fucktard, piss-lips etc.
These are listed in no particular order. Yet, numbered
as if they were...hmm?
1. Putting your turn-signal on--after you already hit the breaks!
2. Tampons on the little beach at Lake Meredith. Is that REALLY necessary?
3. People who do not understand the difference between a Theory and a Law
4. Why the makers of the Miracle Bra haven't been sued for creating false advertisements? Think about it.--But a woman can sue Danon Yogurt company because their "Activa" didn't make her poop or lose weight.
5. Low-rise pants on women that create muffin tops?
6. Spinner hubcaps?
7. Having a strong conviction but being unable to back it up.
8. Why you didn't take a shower and went to the supermarket?? Ewww.
9. People who have to use talking points to discuss anything. What's the point?
10. People who cannot drive a traffic circle. Fuck Borger by the way.
11. People who complain about Bush-lerites taking away their civil liberties and destroying the Constitution, but then being unable to cite specific instances and examples.
12. Why do people ask me "se habla espanol?" I am like the whitest, white chick
ever, and I am from Pennsylvania...yea sure, Se habla espanol!
13. Why programming VCR's and DVD players confuse some people.
14. How some people have a green thumb using the same water and sunlight I do.
15. Is the Ark of the Convenant really in a small chapel in Ethiopia?
16. Why your obsession to clean, involves me?
17. Why Libs love petitions for everything??
18. Why parents' obsessions drive their children to become little lobbyists???
19. Why you think tailgating me is going to affect the speed at which I wish to travel.
20. Hating people one has never met with a deep, personal passion.
21. How a never used room gets dusty.
22. People who get sea-sick.
23. Why ugly, nasty furry spiders have to build their web right where I intend to walk.
24. How to get a linoleum floor, shiny and commercial clean?
25. Why golf balls are designed to curve to the right.
26. Why does the device quit working the minute the warrenty expires?
27. Reading the paper while driving
28. Why is there a bloody pad pasted to the stall door in the women's restroom in the mall?
29. Why do I have to pay for music when I know where to get it for free?
30. Mothers who assume "neglect" will teach their children independence.
31. Why can you take a dog out to piss/shit and they insist on taking an hour to walk around and sniff...only to come inside, walk around in a circle for two seconds and drop a load?
32. People who think I have no soul.
33. Woman who try to get a man to go to extremes to PROVE they love them.
34. Why am I supposed to watch my mouth at the hockey game?
35. Why can I not be served another DRINK! If I am standing...I AM NOT DRUNK!
36. That People are shocked that Don Imus called a bunch of black chicks
Nappy headed hos--Don Imus has always been a Dumbass!
37. People who hoard money like it is going with them.
38. People who read medical journals and convince themselves they have the most peculiar diseases.
39. Girls who get confused by shiny things.
40. Men who actually get off on manuvers like Dirty Sanchez and Dirty Ali Baba.
41. Wikipedia
42. The price of computers,cars, medicine and houses. We all need them.
43. Mid-morning television.
44. Things on places--where have all my clean lines and surfaces gone?
45. Big ugly armless statues- I have arms.
What confuses you?
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