Music, A few beers and BLECH!!

I have no idea where my inspiration has gone. I am at a complete loss of words. How many times can One repeat themselves before they just come to the realization that no one is really listening. I can write all day long but the fact is that no one cares. And that is fine, I suppose. -- All this bullshit is winding down, I have entered a tunnel, once I could see the light at the end--but now I realize I entered a cave. It was only a spark...a spark of insanity, no doubt. Amazing how insanity can seem to illuminate even the darkest corners, at times. But at the end of the day...it is still just insanity and there is nothing to glorify there. Even now... as I type at a hurried pace, to keep my fingers busy--I have nothing to say. I could comment on a million different things, I could hurl my thoughts and feelings about the current situation and it will only bounce off rubber walls and no one would quite understand my state of mind. I could tell you all my sob stories, I am sure I could drag up those beautiful descriptions to explain the depth of my sorrows, fears, worries, and other such words but the fact is that there is no graciousness and no "walking away with dignity" in those words...and even then, I am sure it would still not be understood quite how I would have meant it to be conveyed. There is nothing inspiring about reading through a womans' tale of despair; and I am quite sure no one wants to watch me dig a deeper hole.

Strive to Live Spherically!

Wait!

I do have positive News--- I am enrolled in school. Thats right, I am almost 30 and I am going back to school. Wish me luck!

Thanksgiving, Arrests, Bonds, Getting Fucked Over---Oh My!

Well would you believe I survived The Holiday? That's right I definably did--To think I threw the most god awful inner tormenting fit ever and then shockingly had a pleasant time visiting with my family. Drew Drops went with me and we stayed for about three hours and laughed and just enjoyed ourselves. -- The real torture came later AHHH!!! What an on-going night-mare!

So here's the skinny: As is our tradition after our turkey dinner, we went to the bar. Drew got drunk, I walked him to the car, helped him in, told him I was finishing my drinks with Katie (My little Sister) He told me it was no problem he would be there... well 10-15 minutes later and Officer came in and proceeded to lash out in the most rudest of manners. Demanding to know ho owns the "BLUE Hyundai" and he wants to know NOW!? To which the people at the table replied, "No one here" --because the car is SILVER for one. (real observant of him huh?) He looks directly at me, tells me I thought you might like to know "He" is going to jail. I immediately stand up and ask excuse me... But uh, WHY exactly???

He tells me "well it looks like he is burglarizing a vehicle I KNOW he doesn't and couldn't possibly own."(profiling and a bit presumptuous??) So my little sister chimes in with "well look if you are talking about the silver Hyundai, he has permission to be in there, that's my car." THEN this guy says, "well he is getting a P.I." to which I say..."He is in the car, that is private property, and furthermore it is parked on private property." The cop huffs at me... and THEN, FUCKING THEN, get this... Changes his story again and says LITERALLY: "Well, Uh...he ran from me." To which I reply quite rudely "1. How many times are you going to change your story and 2. I just had to help him out to the car and there is no way he was running anywhere but to the backseat because the dude can't even walk." This prick of a fucking cop- loses his shit, jumps in my face and tells me that I need to zip my lip and quit sassing him if I don't want to go to jail right beside him. So I ask him what he would charge me with... asking questions and disputing an officers integrity?- Cop flips again, walks out the side door of the bar--hauls Boo Diddly away.

I call the bond people IMMEDIATELY--they tell me it is a ticket-able offense of 350.00 to bail him would cost a total of 500.00 so I should just let him sit it out until 8am when the judge shows up for arraignments and he can plead no contest, sign a piece of paper and come home--I don't like it, but that is what I did.

So now, this is Thursday night...Friday, the judge decided not to come in because it was a holiday so still he sits--Saturday...I call and ask "Just exactly what are his charges" They tell me just a simple P.I. nothing else. So I ask ok, why is he not out then?? They can tell me nothing blah blah blah, snore.

Come Sunday, I had E-FUCKING-NUFF --I call a bondsman, toss up a 600.00 camera for collateral and have him bailed out. (which is a story in itself, UHHH!) So he Finally get's bonded out Early Sunday morning at 4:00am
The bonds-lady tells me, we need to come in Monday before five and set up payment arrangements. Sure thing No worries.

So here it is Monday morning I am up at 8am -take a shower, pull every trick in the book to get him up and finally we are off the Bail office...she follows us to the police station so she can witness that we've set up an arrangement. As the lady is looking up he name she made a "Ooo" sound and this was NOT a good "Ooo". It was a squinty eye, wrinkly nose "Ooo". So I ask her whats up... she says well he has a capias warrant -- so we explained that he just did 4 days and he should get those days as a credit for the previous September P.I. he copped. She says No, it is not showing that he laid it out. So then we say ok, then it is towards this new "Thanksgiving" P.I, and the bond is null and void. No, she says.

Ok people, you CANNOT--DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME!?-CANNOT bond out of jail with a capias warrant in the state of Texas. I tell the bond-chick this and she says well i know... if I knew there was a warrant, I wouldn't have bonded him out. Tpo which I reply, there is no way you would have know... As soon as you handed the bond over to the jailer and she ran it through the computer, it would have showed up!!! and he COULD NOT have bonded out. They agree with me, yet he was still put in handcuffs less than 24hrs after he was bonded out! to sit for another 3 days on the old September P.I. warrant issue. -- Yet I still owe the bondsman $125.00 plus the ticket for $350.00 if the $125.00 goes unpaid, they revoke the bond.
And the five days he just spend in jail on this new charge are just...sort of missing. FUCKING A NUTS (and just a little Chintzy, I might add) right?!

Now let me tell you why... In school a friend of Drew's used to pick on said officer and beat the hell out of him on several occasions so now that he is a cop he has turned into a badge bully and uses his authority to do as he damn well pleases. Come to find out this local officer has had other charges brought up against him for very similar actions. His behavior was LESS than becoming of an officer the night he was initially arrested.

Furthermore, I have had dealings with the police in this town since I was 12 years old and there have been times where I acted a damn fool around them-scream, holler and cuss and quite honestly would have deserved to have been told to shut the hell up but not once has an officer ever treated me like this officer did.

And to cut this short before I drive myself bat-shit crazy ... I am appalled, disgusted, furious, upset and would love nothing more than to fight this charge, and have something done about this poser cop.

On that note...I shall close this one.
Live Spherically!!

Holiday Kicking and Screaming

Well... it is the eve before Thanksgiving and I am feeling more withdrawn than ever. I know I should be excited to eat and see family but I am just not feeling it.
I am going to suck it up...of course. But I am silently being drug kicking and screaming. I plan to sneak my drink and stay in a state of haze!

I wish well for everyone else-enjoy your families and your meals!
Be Blessed and Live Spherically!

Writing & The Insatible Need For Ramblings

One must consider the day of the week before embarking on a particular type of "blog post". We can't have any messages of dismay; anything to despairing or cynical would be a bit too much for Wednesday. Not too mention, I am still on some intensifying emotional high, that has left me in the most brilliant of moods for the last week or two.

I hate to say it... but when it's going bad, it is a most gruesome low; yet when things are going well, I get this insatiable thirst for laughter, friendship & kindred among many other things...but ultimately is a most sensational high!

Now, where might I be going with all this? You know something...I haven't a single clue. I woke up, ate leftovers, watched a movie, took a shower, and we went to the library...I suddenly, whilst standing amongst the books...had this driving urge to come home and write. I have no real direction, or anything in particular to say but most of you that know me, know when it comes to my writing, whether or not I know what I want say... tend to believe that when you get the urge...you have to just sit down and say it. "A writer always writes because it is all they want to do." I believe Science Fiction Author, Ray Bradbury said that. I expect that couldn't be more true for anyone who fancies themselves a writer.

I think I encourage people to write as much as I do because of my simple belief that if it is in your head, and it flows forth from your fingers; no matter how irrelevant it may sound to you there is a reason the words you chose, came to mind, and therefore have a right to be in the world. Whether it be for your peace of mind, or for a million others who may run into it. I literally believe that there are no coincidences when it comes to writing. I suppose my theories are akin to what some might consider automatic writing. If you think about it, it is actually quite similar; I wouldn't necessarily say it is trance-like...However, when you sit down and begin to type or write with nothing particularly in mind, you have to agree that your mind is not exactly in a conscious state-you are essentially rambling until it all begins to make sense.

While that particular brand of sophistication and enlightenment may not be found on this blog page today, I must admit rather freely that I feel somewhat accomplished and have a sense of well-being. I suddenly know that I was able to coax myself, once again, into a more sound state of satisfaction.

I suppose that will be a never ending battle I will face with chronic depression, and chronic refusal to take pills to make myself well. I prefer to talk to my depression and persistent pain associated with my Parkinson's. The roller coaster of emotion, up and downs that have a tendency to spiral out of control if I don't get them in check. I've said it once, I will say it a thousand times: "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Point of that? To affirm why exactly, I need to always keep myself in check.

I refuse to follow in those foot-steps...and I scare myself when I get that low. My mind starts drifting and yes, again. I scare myself. Although I once read that if it is something you are afraid of, then...it isn't something you ever really need to worry about because subconsciously you know where you stand on the subject/issue.
I happen to chose to believe that...it makes perfect sense.

Moving on, have a happy and fulfilling Wednesday everyone!
Live Spherically!

Goodbye Bad Attitude-Hello Optimism

I woke up this morning thinking, "oh hell, I wish I could sleep until 2:00pm".
I have to go to work at 1, the new puppy is a handful, I ran out of fruit to put in my cottage cheese, I need a shower, have to wash my hair, shave my legs and drink the largest cup of coffee I can find! After starting off the morning in a grumble and my best "oh hell" attitude...I got to thinking what a horrible way to start off a potentially wonderful day...

I couldn't find a single thing to be optimistic about and then I found some money I thought I had lost for good, which reminded me I get paid some cash today...

Then I thought about how he is sleeping less than four feet away and how much I have enjoyed him being here. I thought about how it is never a dull moment when he is around and how I am always smiling, giggling and laughing in his presence.

Suddenly, I am thinking if I could just shake this tired, lethargic feeling that I just KNOW it is going to be a great day!

May you all have a wonderful day. Live spherically!

Finding My Happiness

First of all, I think a "Blog Update" is certainly overdue. I have been tossing around what exactly I wanted to blog about... I could go on giving updates and incite into my current situation, describing endlessly how things have vastly improved, and ramble about how proud I am of the measure of kindness that has recently been bestowed upon me... but then i thought.. NAH!

I don't quite have the words for that at the present and I am not so sure I want to spend a few hours with paper and pen tracing on old lines of elegance. Instead, I got to thinking about Happiness and what value it has to me. I am not a person who has ever thought about happiness directly, only knew, or thought I knew that I'd never been happy...How's that for a farce? I think one of the worst things a person can tell themselves is that happiness doesn't exist. I came across a blog here awhile back, and it sort of opened my eyes, reminding me that happiness isn't getting everything you ever wanted, and it is certainly not money, fame, or fortune. While all of those things may be nice...Most of us are here in the real, average, blue collar world.

For someone like myself who grew up in what I would categorize an "abusive" home for many different and currently irrelevant reasons, I can honestly say that I am not so sure that I had a basis or any real understanding of what exactly happiness was...

Most everything I've ever learned has been self-taught, rarely attending school, and when I did I bounced from so many grade level extremes (in both directions) that I was much more content to sit back with my books on all manner of subject and learn by myself. I threw myself into psychology, philosophy, art, photography, and have a love/thirst for knowledge in general and that holds true down to the simplest of things, including human emotion, which for years I had no clue how to relate it to myself and others.

So if happiness is NOT getting everything I ever wanted, then what is the basis for happiness? Is it looking into your past and trying to find something amidst the chaos...I suppose I could come up with one or two favorite memories, sure...but sifting through all the negative just to come up with one shred of happiness, only pulls me back and the negative always seems to outweigh the positive...thereby completely destroying the reasons I ever started searching.

I began to look at it as a "Here and Now" sort of thing, because as we all know, you just can't change the past no matter what you do...so why should I dwell, I need to create new ideas, ways and methods for happiness...and with that in mind I have assembled a list of what really makes me happy or puts a smile on my face.

In no particular order, no one thing out-ranks another:

~ Hearing a baby laugh for the first time

~ Having a ladybug land on me or finding one unexpectedly

~ Finding a penny on the ground (heads up of course)

~ The smell of gingerbread baking

~ Thinking of my grandmothers' laughter until I can almost hear it

~ Standing in the rain with my face and hands pointed skyward

~ The scent of a coming rain, or shortly thereafter

~ Sitting in the room ( no matter how close or how far apart) from the man I truly love

~ Homemade pumpkin rolls

~ Being around my sisters after many months, and reminiscing.

~ Holding a baby for the first time in years

~ That first glass of ice water after a long night out drinking

~ Being asked to dance by a handsome stranger (whether I say no or not)

~ Waking up on Christmas and seeing a blanket of snow when it was not predicted

~ Receiving an unexpected compliment when least expected

~ Finding a bra that fits just right

~ Opening the Bible at random, reading the first passage and realizing you needed to hear it

~ Watching comedians on HBO with my friends

~ Test driving a new car and enjoying the smell more than the car

~Hot bubble baths with lavender

~ Hearing a song that was popular when I was a child

~ Running into old friends and finding out they are doing really well

~ Standing on the beach, closing my eyes and listening to the waves crash

~ The feel of new socks

~ Realizing I am NOT out of Q-tips after-all!

~ His arms

~ Tiger Lilies

~ Finally finishing a piece of art I have worked on for months

~ The first sip of whiskey after a long hard days work

~ Honeysuckles

~ Seeing a hummingbird fly past my window


Of course there are many more...I intend to keep looking for the small things and as they happen, I will keep writing them down.

I personally feel like this is a tiny step in the direction of where I want to be headed...Stay tuned and Live Spherically!!!



~

I woke up ALONE

For two weeks now, it's been the two of us. No fighting, no arguing, nothing ill or tormenting. We laughed, talked, cracked all the good jokes and fuck have we been full of them...The people around us noticed the change, said it was about time we evened out and we giggled as they got sick of our games. We both know, they just don't "play" right.

You held & kissed my hands, sat on my feet when they were cold, popped my toes, rubbed my neck, brushed my hair out of my eyes, turned other women down, shared a bed with me every single night and spent your every waking moments with me. In a way, you've given me the best gift you could have; peace. Thank you for that.

Last night, I couldn't get comfortable. Our usual bed was occupied and we tried to share a single...I had to go home and I think you got quite offended that I was "leaving" you. The look on your face, sheer disappointment. The oddity...is I know you have put that look on my face more than once and I doubt you batted an eye, myself on the other hand...felt so guilty over something I considered so trivial.

I watched you snap up, throw on your clothes and shoes...I offered you a ride and you refused it. I asked if you were angry, and you gave me that look again and walked away, leaving me standing there in the cold misty morning, barefoot and confused. I didn't realize you suddenly couldn't be without me, I didn't recognize that change over.

I came home at 4:30am, to an empty house. I woke up freezing for the first time in two weeks. I woke up for the first time in years feeling utterly alone.
I immediately thought of this song and began to sing it, and I miss you today. I am writing this now, with my door open, hoping you'll walk up like you have every day. I am looking for that knowing and content goofy grin I have seen as of late. I am smoking my cigarette, and longing for my favorite chess partner. But, through the repetition of our relationship I have learned that it will be days before I see or hear from you again. For some reason what you confuse with rejection deems you cowardly for a few days. And now, after reading this, and considering the past few months...I suddenly don't feel so guilty...but, I still woke up alone.

Letter to the Lady Hope

Dear Hope,

It feels like such a long time since I last saw you. I know it's only been a few months, but it feels like an eternity since you last showed your face. I have to say, I had a wonderful summer, and I pray this letter finds you in high spirits!

 
    I spend all my weekends at the bar. I am getting a nice neon tan and you can no longer say I am paler than you. I have been exploring lots of new ideas, such as, juggling, balancing, and building a nice collection of sea shells. Just this past weekend I took second place in a sandcastle building contest! 

It seems I have landed myself a job! I drive a mobile poetry truck around and sell immorality to the polished aristocrat. It is so cool. It is a combination of the two things I love most, limericks and malfeasance. The pay isn't too great but I love the job so much. 

I hope the summer went quite well for you too. There's only a few months left in two-thousand and ten and after that it's back to reality and resolutions. Would you like to meet up some time before the New Year?

Your friend, Ms. Monika A. Mock

How Utterly Befitting

so considering all that has taken place between a certain someone and myself for the last 16 years...only for that last two days to have taken place...well lets just say I stumbled upon this and it is UNCANNY how closely the words and emotions are.
I had to share it.

Live Spherically!

Reprecussions

I have come to learn that English Biologist Richard Dawkins, was correct in saying we are "Survival Machines". It seems that no matter what is thrown at us, we have the ability to rise above, and slough it off. I find so many times in my life where I can recall people insisting that very point. I can even say there was a time when it came easier to me. Surprisingly after four 1/2 years of methamphetamine sobriety, I am only now realizing the effects it actually had on me, it numbed everything, I felt nothing, and that alone was the source of my resiliency. I felt so strong, so capable...so willing. Yet, here I am at 3:00am once again, trying to figure a few things out.

I discovered, that I am a deeply emotional person. A person whose feelings are easily hurt and the only skill I obtained in my youth is the ability to pretend or display lack of emotion. I am sure for any random person who has no idea who I am, or where I came from...this is obscure; but I tell ya, I was once one of the most callus women you'd ever come across. I was cold, cruel, and quite honestly a complete narcissist who suffered no consequence because I was too indifferent to give a damn for the repercussions. This is not bragging, I hope you realize, merely a plain and simple truth.

When you spend your entire life, being that person, I find that the people around you tend not to let you change and that you are suddenly and repetitively held accountable for every single ill word, ill deed, and mishap. Every ounce of poor judgment (on my part) becomes the forefront and I find it hindering my desires to be a better person on the "true path" of life.

Which leads me to, yes, what comes around goes around. I feel fucked, Karmically FUCKED!
Yes, we really do reap what we sow, and by my calculations, by the time I am 45 I should be at a more peaceful state. The downfall is, I am ready to enter the "quiet" phase of my life. Oh, but I am tangled up in some poorly woven web and I don't exactly know who or what I want anymore. Again, another one of those "human conditions". Perhaps, this would be easier on me if I hadn't had such a grandiose sense of self in the previous years? I think the drug and alcohol abuse that started as a pre-teen paved the way for this erratic behavior...but let me tell ya, I AM SO OVER IT!

As always, Live Sphereically!

Click here to see what I was listening to when I wrote this one!

4am

Image via Wikipedia

It is 4am, and I just cannot sleep. My mind is heavy, but i can't quite suss out the problem. I feel like I am missing something, something that belongs to me... but if you'd ask me to be more specific, I am quite sure I couldn't. I am lost somehow, and my heart is hurting. Every bone in my body aches, my head is pounding, my joints are on fire. I feel confused, I feel...sober. ...I feel.  I have this incredible desire to phone a friend, and obtain a verbal hug. I need a real hug. I need someone to hold me and tell me everything is alright. I long for someone to stroke the hair from cheek, as I lay on my side, in silence. I want someone to rub my back, or twist my hair around their index finger as I drift off to sleep. I want to smile in strong, soothing arms...but is 4am and all the world is sleeping, as I should be. But this damned old lifeless heart is hurting, and these brittle bones are aching.

Click here to see what I was listening to when I wrote this!

Self Worth & Motivation

I Alone... Well Then Again, No.

"Oh Monika, I wish you could get yourself sorted, well what I really mean is...I wish you could get yourself Sober" -- A sentence, I am sure many people have said to or of me.

For some reason, I have been in fantasy land the last two months. I would love to be able to say... I am exaggerating... But I have so many questions, thoughts, and animosities that it would seem I have been avoiding them entirely by drinking myself into an oblivion whilst fantasizing that a man, perhaps the only man I have ever loved for God knows what reasons... loves me back. I will always be the first person to say, " Just because someone does not love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you the best way they know how." -- Well, I think I am just tired of the games, of the "L" word, the endless conversations and the fruitlessness that surely follows. Yet again, I am just not satisfied until I exhaust every encounter. The minute things are going straight, and I am smiling, the "blanket party" starts. I find myself in the most interesting position a woman can be in, one that I can honestly say is unfamiliar territory to me, even at twenty-seven years old. I find myself tangled and rearranged by love. I caught myself contorting The Self, to become what he wanted.

I suppose it sounds absurd, and perhaps it is. . . But I never wanted love, my entire life I strayed from it, took preventative measures, and went so far as to completely shut down my relationships... only now can I admit it is Fear, plain and simple. I can also admit that I had a preconceived notion of what Love can do to a person...I just didn't realize that my parents were the atypical example.

I have these dreams, ...I call them "Larger than Life" dreams. But in the grand scheme of things, I am only wishing for the same things everybody else does. I see myself happy, smiling in a front yard of a house that I am buying watching my children play. Little girls with long curly brown hair and eyes as blue as the ocean. It sounds attainable enough for a woman who has been in a relationship for 12 years..but nothing comes simple , and I am sure these is a price to pay for happiness...but at what cost, and what currency?

There seems to be so much foolishness in folly in my life at the moment...I feel literal spiraling and unraveling.
Then I take a step back, take a deep breath and say to myself "now, that wasn't really so bad, now was it?"
Right back to point A. Again, all I can say is... such is life cousins, such is life.

Live Spherically!

Versus

What an insane week I've had...I have certainly been busy, therefore neglecting my blog. I spent last weekend out at the lake with some friends (I have posted a few videos on youtube.com) Beyond, that it has really been a whirlwind of events, my dog and my grandfather died on the same day. My little sister and her children flew in for the services. It was a beautiful service, including flag detail and a 21 gun salute. I have been spending an unreasonable amount of time with my friends--drinking. I've been over-sighting my house, vehicle, phone calls, and basic nourishment. I think it may have caught up with me today however. I am coughing, and my nose is leaking profusely. I woke up starving and so thirsty...I am almost sure I drank enough water for three people today. It seems at some point last night, during the chaos of the mini private party I have done something to my back. It feels like a pinched nerve, same spot that always affects me...Coughing is extra fun! I have to brace myself before I can cough up a lung.

I've also been reading today...Franz Kafka as a matter of fact. And I intend to leave you a quote as follows:

"No one is capable of spending all his days and nights keeping watch over the hunger artist,  therefore no one person could be absolutely certain from firsthand knowledge that the fast had truly been constant and flawless; only the hunger artist himself could know that, and so at the same time only he could be a satisfied spectator of his own fast."

Live Spherically !

Click here to see what I was listening to as I wrote this!

Chamber of Sorrows / A Prayer for the dying

Music exists to say things words cannot say. To cry for you, when your tears are dry, a chance to let the soul weep; Which is why, it is not entirely human. Music is not for kings and perhaps you think music is for God, but you are wrong, God can speak. For the ear perhaps?  Yet, things I cannot speak, are not for the ear. For gold, for glory, for silence?  Yet, Silence is only the opposite of language. Rival musicians? Love? Sorrows of love? Wantonness? A wafer for the unknown? But what is a wafer? You can see it, taste it. It is nothing. Do you give up?

One must leave a drink for the dead. A refreshment for those who've run out of words. For lost childhoods... To muffle the stammering of drunken laborers, to silence the tantrums of an emotionally distant mother... For the time before we were born, before we breathed, or saw light. That alone, is Musics' true importance.

I will eventually die, and my brand of art and whimsy will die with me. My ideals, my dreams, my passions, my loves...but Music, especially Music designed to wake, lasts forever. Even when forever, seems too long.
And so I will leaved you an air to wake the dead. As it is commonly believed to do so.
Thus I give you "The Chamber of Sorrows"- who so few have enough ear to really listen.

If I were to live to be one thousand year old, I believe my wish would be that every person I know and care about could or would be able to listen to the Tomb of Sorrows and have more to say than, "That's beautiful". Of course it is beautiful. But why is it beautiful. Did it bring tears to your eyes, did your body catch up with the wailing of your soul? More importantly, do you feel that deeply?

Good Ol' Fashioned Thursday Night Tire Slashing

The day is Thursday, August 5th, 2010. A male friend calls, and demands I come out to one of the smaller local bars. I hem, I haw, I agree. I walk up the bar, (about 7 blocks away) around 4:30pm. The alcohol is coming at a steady flow, there is laughter, joking and dancing; yes, I said dancing! In walks someone, a male friend I have had ten months to move on from and swore I didn't care and I hated him, etc...Long story, short...I started slamming drinks, an obscene amount of liquor. At which time, I decide it would be a far better decision to relocate to another bar. However, as soon as it was noticed that I was absent, said "male friend" shows up to the other bar looking for me. Of course, bringing the "riff Raff". Lo and behold, a fight ensues and all hell breaks loose in the bar, bottles are flying, knives come out, and punches are flying, I am wrangling Goat and dodging punches and flying pool cues. The Bar-tender comes out with a bat and starts cracking the other party in the head, punching an older lady and chucking her across the dance floor...and after about 15 minutes of intense battle, the bar clears. Now, the building is metal and suddenly we hear banging, crashing,. popping and what I can tell you had a resemblance to an air-raid. It seems these out-of-towners from Houston, brought in by the Valero company went outside and slashed every fucking tire in the parking lot! Wouldn't be bad, but this is a relatively small town. Shit like that doesn't really happen here.

At any rate, this bar is is about 2 miles out-side of town, a long way to walk, drunk. The cops, S.O. and Rangers won't let anyone leave, they want statements from the 15 or so people still in the bar. Around 3:15 I decide I don't care and I want to go home, and my options are "walk". Now, it has just rained and we are way back on a dirt road and you have to walk down to go out to the highway.. It is muddy, slippery, and dark. I lost my shoes, misjudged the depth of a puddle, got a large chunk of broken beer bottle lodged in my foot and so many sticker thorns deep enough that it hurts me to walk three days later.

I get about quarter mile down the highway, a Sheriff stops and asks if everything is ok...I tell him I was just at the bar, tires are slashed and I am walking. I ask him for a ride, and he tells me he can't do that. Protect and serve my ass. He leaves. Another car stops, FINALLY, someone I happen to know. The bartenders husband! He picks us up, and goes right back to bar, so all of that , the brisk, drunken walk....yeah, for nothing! AND, I am right back where I started!. Out there for another thirty minutes answering questions. FINALLY, everyone is released, and we can go. Well, the guys car won't start, so myself, and two other guys are pushing this car to get it in position to get a jump, another puddle....yea, HA it looked ankle deep, pretty sure I was in this puddle up to my thigh, trying not to let this car roll back and run me over. Freezing cold, drunken success! So covered in mud, and freezing I finally made it home home at about 5:30am , with a headache and a major pain in my feet. I fell asleep on the living-room floor, woke up a few hours later and dug two pieces of glass about the size of a fifty cent piece and thought---Well, I wonder how far I really thought I was going to get.

Live Spherically people!

Practical Ideas for Pissing People Off.

Not exactly the most original post you will ever come across, I confess. However, it comes from a place that I think we've all been in. Don't you ever have those slow days when you can't think of anything on your own? All you know is someone pissed you off, and you HAVE to retaliate! ...But within reason. You find so many sites that give great ideas about retaliation or pranks but they are just too harsh, so all you do is laugh and think "what if?"  Well, I propose a list of ideas that will get the point across and keep you out of jail, won't break your "Prank Bank", and leaves you sitting back taking pleasure in the fact that you just screwed with someones' day.

Below you will find a list of ways to prank, annoy, or flat out PISS SOMEONE OFF!

Here are a few ways to use Super Glue to your advantage:

1. On a new roll of toilet paper, slide the glue tip about half way through the role and squeeze a few drops, you can do this at several points through-out the roll. The idea behind this is that when someone needs to use it, it will come off in tiny pieces and you essentially have to rip through the entire roll trying to get a long enough piece to finish the job, a real prankster would remove all other rolls from the bathroom.

2. Do you have a neighbor who steals the paper? you can do one of two things: a) sneak out extra early, and glue the bag the paper comes in to the sidewalk; as added entertainment, set up hidden video so you can post it on.Youtube.com and watch the neighbors 'struggle to hi-jack your paper. b) Using basically the same concept as the "Toilet-paper roll"...place a few random drops around the paper, so it tears as the "victim" tries to turn the pages.

3. Super-Glue someone's shoe laces. The idea behind this is, when someone slips off their sneakers without untying them, you place glue on the inner portion of the knot so they cannot untie the laces to put their shoes on. You could even tie them extra tight yourself, then gluing the inner portion of the knot. Watch as the "victim" struggles to untie their shoes!

4. Avid flip-flop wearer? Glue the entire shoe to the floor! As they attempt to slide in and slide off they basically trip, not realizing the shoes are stationary.

5. Bored at a local bar? Super Glue a quarter near your table, or on the dance floor and watch the drunk people fall, as they lean over and struggle to pick-up the quarter bait!

6. Office co-workers irritating you? Super Glue their mouse to the desk, make comments to other workers that you don't understand why they aren't pulling their weight around the office.

Other Fun Ideas:

1. Have a problem with co-workers stealing your lunch? Make a sandwich of Cat food, cayenne pepper, and raw fresh jalapeno's. It won't take too long to figure out who the thief is.

2. At the office water cooler, take several of the cups and use a tack to poke small holes in the bottoms of the cups and watch as the employees get water down the front of them,

3. Go to a local pet store and purchase $5.00 of live crickets, and place them in someones car. This would be best suited for a spouse or family member, unless your victim just happens to have their window down a crack. You don't want to get a B & E charge, so be careful not to do anything illegal.

4. Looking to really piss someone off? Get a hold of your victims' deodorant, slide a few toothpicks down into the product and smoothe over the holes. It may take a few day, but as soon as those sharp ends come to the surface it will most irritating to your victim!

5. Get a hold of the victims mouth-wash, replace it with white-vinegar and blue or green food-coloring.

6. Delete your victims' i-tunes library!

7. Coon urine is such a horrible smell- spray it in your victims' house, car, co-workers chair/desk, or pour some in the bottoms of their shoes! I swear this smell NEVER goes away, so be careful who you do this to, and remember stray from illegal activity- Putting Coon urine in someones' vehicle may be constituted as destruction of private property-Know the laws in your County.

8. Re-label all of your victims data Cd's with popular pornography titles. i.e Debbie Does Dallas

9. That towel hanging on the rack outside the shower, staple the back of it to the wall, so your victim is tugging and struggling to get it free so they can dry off. (great for a spousal or kid prank)

10. Husband wear tightie-whities? After he falls asleep, take red food coloring and squirt a few drops directly in the center of his back-side, when he wakes up he will flip-out! If you have one of those oblivious husbands...exclaim, "HONEY, whats  WRONG?!

11.Replace someones laundry detergent (powdered form) with a mixture of sand, starch, and a pkg. of powdered clothing dye (blue). Combine and distribute evenly so it appears to have the correct consistency. A real asshole would add itching powder.

12. Add half a bottle of Dawn's Dish-soap to The Cascade dishwasher detergent. This creates a mass amount of bubbles, so be careful to whom and where you decide to pull this prank.

13. Add two bottles of red food coloring to a carton of milk. -Looks a lot like blood and freaks people out. you could take a thermos to work and have your co-workers thinking you drink blood! (can you imagine your childrens' reaction if they thought mom and dad drank blood!)

14. get yourself a few boxes of gelatin (clear)  and pick a toilet (home, work, family or friends) make sure the toilet will not be in use for a few hours. When your victim(s) go to use the restroom, they get a splash. Note: it is difficult to get out of the toilet, you will have to scoop before you can flush, and you may have to scoop, add water. flush, repeat a few times before you can get rid of the jelly.

15. Take a piece of Saran-wrap and apply it tightly across a door jam at head, shoulder level. smear Karo syrup across it and watch as your victim walks right into it.

16. Smokers getting on your nerves? Take an eye-dropper and a bottle of Cinnamon extract(or any preference you may have) and place a drop in the area where the cigarette connects to the butt-completely ruins the flavor of their cigarettes. I have seen this done with Doe urine, but I am not sure exactly the health effects or the wisdom in this---you may want to do a little research.

17. Go down to a wreck yard, score a window from any car, (Cheap!) TAKE HOME and break in a tarp or towel with a hammer. Then roll down the victims car window, and scatter the glass around the area. If someone thinks their window is broken, no way they will try to roll it up! See how long you can keep this one going for- if they actually went down to have it replaced, can you imagine the look the laborers Face when he realizes there is a window in the car!?Sort of a P-I-F prank. Note: often times you can find glass in the road , eliminating the need for buying a  window.

18. Buy a quart of oil, and dump it under your victims vehicle so they think their car is leaking mass amounts of oil.

19. Get an eye dropper and mineral oil and get go after the eye-shadow and blush, place one or two drops in each color. This causes the make-up to stain the skin for a few days.

20. Really wanna be bad? Get pens that are specifically used for Henna, this ink stains the skin for weeks, sometimes months at a time. Be creative! Tattoos, words, art on the face neck arms back etc....

21. Shred up old clothes, get red food coloring, catchup, fake blood etc, and re-create a crime scene in your yard, neighbors yard etc. (USE RAW CHICKEN SKIN FOR TEXTURE)

22. Just want to be a jerk? switch all the movies in the DVD cases around.

23. In public restrooms: Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that.

24. Get a game night going with your pals, play poker or craps, then pay them in monopoly cash. Claim you didn't know, you just assumed it was for fun.

25. Have a husband who has a lot of keys he uses at work? Replace all the keys with old keys to random shit, when he gets to work and can't use his keys, he'll be annoyed possibly even furious!

26. Get a can of sardines and drop bits of Sardines randomly and discreetly around an office, car, or home. SO smelly after a few days.

27. Send the boss love letters from a co-worker.

28. Take a permanent marker and draw clothing on all the models in the porno mags.

29. Use clear scotch tape and put it over the strip on all the victims credit cards- they won't work!

30. IN THE HUSBANDS WALLET- replace all the pictures with pictures of his ex and then get mad at him when you see them!

31. Put bleach in the spray and wash bottle. Stain remover! 

32. Discreetly open a new package of socks, snip the ends of and place them back in the package.

33. On a long sleeve shirt, just before the cuff, sew it closed so the victim cannot get his hands through the sleeves. 

34. If gifting a pair of jeans, sew the pockets and/or the zipper closed so they create a fun annoyance!

35. Cut a hold in the ass of every pair of panties/underwear.

36. Take old, skanky, dirty panties and hang them on your neighbors fence.

37. Address fake letters from the IRS to your victim claiming they are being audited.

38. Send fake court summons to your victim-Again, know the laws in your parish and avoid anything criminal.

39. Send fake STD results

40. Knock on your neighbors door and ask them why the swat team was at their house earlier. (make sure they were gone)

41. Knock on your neighbors door and ask them about the strange animal noises coming from their house at noon.

42.  STILL COMING UP WITH MORE!!!!

More to come, but this is a good start. I WOULD LOVE to see your videos or hear your stories pertaining to these specific pranks!!!!

Live Spherically!

Hotel Pictures Added (FINALLY!)

Image via Wikipedia

I thought I should add a few pictures from the trip to Denton, Texas.
I of course went with my mother, who went to attend a two-day seminar for her job.
I spent most of the vacation in an alcoholic haze and walking around the hotel. Don't you dare judge me! LOL

She is a hard woman for me to get along with. Always has been- I haven't lived with her since I was twelve. In fact after I moved to Texas, from ages 12 to 14 I live with my mother on two separate occasions equaling approximately 6 months, give or take a few. All of that is neither here nor there, other than to convey that I have a very difficult time just being in her presence and from that description, I contrive my excuse for two discrepancies. 1.) the previously stated alcoholic haze and 2.) few pictures.



This picture was taken at a rest-stop somewhere along the way.



This is located on the north side of the hotel.




The lobby



Room Service!!!

That is all I have taken from the camera thus far. I am working on getting a video going as well.

That shall conclude this entry. Live Spherically

No sure way to beat the heat

Another miserably hot day here on the High Plains of Texas! I think the high for today was predicted to be 95F but honestly, after 85F why use numbers? It's just fecking hot to the Umpth Degree. Considering it was so incredibly hot it is safe for you all to assume I spent the day in of doors. I stepped out for less than ten minutes earlier with the pommy dogs, it seems my neighbor has lost his hammer in my backyard--although, I can't find it. He keeps asking me to get it for him and... I don't know what to do. It's not as if I am smuggling his damn hammer or holding it for ransom but for three days he has continually insisted that he knows it is there. We have a large unfriendly dog in the back-yard or I would have already suggested he go get it himself...after some consideration, I believe I will tell him he can try his luck. If he is on my property, in my fenced back-yard, am I still responsible for an attack? (I shall Google it!)

Beyond that, my day was fairly uneventful thus far, of course it is only 4:00pm-ish. I hung curtains, rather sloppily, as it were. but when you consider they aren't really curtains but rather sheer, animal-print, fabric hung by thumbtacks and not curtain rods... well, I don't care. They aren't even there because the go with the decor it is just so HOT I need a sun blocker- the blinds simply aren't enough. I give it three days before I rip them down. At this rate, it will be a miracle if they make it til midnight.

I think I will go take a shower, true blood is coming on in a few hours...you know I can't miss that!

I need to ponder a few things as well, don't be shocked to find me back here typing nonsense to a blank screen in the next few hours.

Live Spherically!

For My Brother - Blue october

For some reason- this song seems to be hitting home for me at the moment. I am in a "funny" and sort of "longing" mood. Perhaps, I am just missing my little sister. She's not been gone long, but we've never really been apart. As much as we fight and argue, her being gone, is akin to loosing my right arm. It would be fair to say there is a hint of jealously in the air where she is concerned. I miss my family to depths and levels indescribable...but I don't have the fortitude to endure them anymore. Yet, she is.  Even though I know she is going at it blindly, and will more than likely figure out that everything I ever told her in regards to that side of the family has been the level truth... I fear for her sanity, health, and stability. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I feel like there is nothing I can do to help her through this one. And when I talk to her...I've got so many things to say, so many things I want to convey to her; but a giant lump chokes me every time and I can do nothing but tell her I love her and I am glad things are well for her. I don't know when I started hiding myself from her, or when she stopped seeing my intentions where she is concerned we're always authentic...but it pains me to think that she is convinced I dream of her demise. Simply not true but I can no longer waste my breathe describing to her in depth of my motivations. I think that makes me a bit of a martyr, I will take all people have to give, I have even stated that "my shoulders are strong enough for the weight."

I really am scared to make another mistake, where my family is concerned. It seems like I resemble them in  blood type alone. I am not sure I am apart of them in any other aspect. Of course, this is not a new feeling. I have never really felt as though I was wanted or if I belonged to them. It never hit home, until the last few days while listening to the way my mother talks to me vs. my sisters-- I suppose I will never understand why I am the ostracized party. What's more, it never mattered before, never mattered about the things my mother said to me and the way she speaks, the things that cross her mind in my presence because I had my sister who understood me. All of that is gone now, and I wound up alone.

I made such stupid choices in my life, almost from the moment I could walk... I was doing the complete opposite of what was expected or what was required. I've heard my entire life, "I'll never understand you, Monika".  So I find we have yet another thing in common, I'll never understand me either.

Well Cousins- This is Me... signing off, reminding you to live spherically!

Organizings one's finer details

Well now, last night was certainly interesting. I re-read my post, and yes...I was quite obviously drunk. I was going to delete it, save myself a little embarrassment but I figured it would kind of defeat the purpose of why exactly I started this blog nonsense. Not to mention, those who know, know that I have some crazy ideas and opinions sometimes-- And when it comes to writing, I tend to think that sometimes words, no matter how influenced by alcohol, sorrow, anger, etc. are just begging to be out in the world. With that said...I have one of two stories to tell of yesterday/last night. But for now, I think we'll go with the most embarrassing moment of the trip ... thus far.

As we all know, I was drinking last night, rather heavily, as it were. Being that this is a non-smoking establishment, I had to go outside to smoke. Of course, I took my room key and cell-phone. I finish, and walk back in. I saw nothing and it was silent as the grave once inside... I was sort of in and out of it, in my own little world, minding my own business... and that is when it happened! I dropped my cellphone. I sort of went with the "bend and snap" method and my "snap" landed my face right into a strangers' "danger zone"!!! I turn beet red immediately, knowing I have to make eye contact in mere seconds As soon as I right myself and look into the face of this stranger, I am met with a wry smile and then he spoke, "Well, it is certainly nice to meet you too" he said in a humble yet slightly flirtatious manner. It was riddled with laughter, and I knew he wanted to fall over, clutching his ribs but he conducted himself as a complete gentleman of perhaps 55. I said absolutely NOTHING- I sort of made an attempt to stutter something out and got perhaps as far as, "uhh...uh...I..." knowing there was nothing I could say to right the situation, there was no way to save face...it was too late, I did it again...I made a COMPLETE ass out of myself!!!

And there you have it... that is about #4 out of My personal  top 10 of Most Embarrassing Moments.
Thank GAWD!!! I never have to come back here again if I don't want to.


Signing off - Live SPHERICALLY!


<---To hide my face!

The Charms of Travling with Ones' Mother

  Where oh where to begin... it has been interesting to say the very least... in an opening line.

I, who so very rarely spends the day with my mother, who finds more joy in a life 135 miles away...for obvious reasons to anyone who has "one of those" mothers; have or has (you apply correct grammar, I am tired...and drunk-ish) been filled...no, been side-swiped with an abandoned and perhaps, nearly condemned sense of capability. Does it not amaze even you, just how much you can swallow with a willing and influential mouth/throat?

At times, I am at a loss of words...there are times when I have so much to share with my kindred that I do NOT even  know where to begin. Be it rejection, or perhaps self-preservation...I am meandering with the facts that create what is most usually, but not without regrets;  my life. I stammer, I choke, I pray, I try to understand, and did I say,  pray. There are many things about me, that make me an easy target for hatred...but I love...and I dare you to deny that I care. Choke now, if you doubt my sincerity.

B.s aside. I drove. Six hours, even more,  including the stops (BECAUSE my mother no longer allows "smoke" in her car). She is suddenly above Falter. Ah, well..Blessed Be. Grace to those who follow their ideals and presumptions. Again...moving on. Confusion. a conscience will to meander BECAUSE dejection is easier than facing fact and speculation. There are a few humorous stories in here, a few pictures...that I have yet to capture...and I will get back to them...but for now we (I) am feeling the whole of disappointment with just a single CUNT hair of disheartenment. Odd how a night in search of intricacy and acceptance can lead to the feelings of complete debasement and repudiation. Such is life Cousins, such is life. 

Again...this leads me to PURPOSE. Tell me, have you been so G. D. (being gracious) clever to discover yours? I know where it ends for me... but when can you stand up with that mega-phone and shout to Mt. Etna..."Fuck You?" --Make you a deal... Swallow your pride, admit defeat and I will wretch pain til the heavens cease my sorrow and lamentations.  Uh yeah, ... thank you, come again.

To be honest, this is the sole ramblings of one so gracefully forgotten.

*best Paul Harvey voice* Good Day

*Me: Live Spherically, even when "squares" fit the bill.

As an added note: Live. Even with that BBQ stain on that white t-shirt.

I need a cigarette, perhaps the realist thing or emotion I face @ 5:11am but there it is. 

Take me for sweet, and love me for the bitters.

Tonight, I challenge you to  Live Spherically.

The Joys of Canning & Nostalgia

I'll keep this one short and sweet...

In the spirit of Living Spherically, I tried something new tonight.

I canned!  

I know your probably thinking, "so what" and that's alright; but for me... it was a learning experience and I can absolutely say "I've done that before". It brought back so many memories of watching my mother can jams, and pie fillings and my grandmother in all her old world charm waking up at 4:00am to can fruits and veggies for days, at harvest time. I thought of a dear friend who passed away; who was, well for lack of better words, My mothers' angel. She used to make the most delicious, "completely from scratch" dishes and can them for us. Her specialty was jellies & jams -- I thought of Jeannie Jelly as we called it, and smiled all night long. For the first time in weeks, when I lay down to sleep there will be a comfort. One that, I am not so sure I can explain, seeing as to how it spawned from something like Canning.

For those of you who may be wondering what I canned- My famous chili. --- Okay okay, I confess it isn't world renowned but my family LOVES it.

Closing this one tonight sending out some special thanks:

Jeannie Kirkpatrick- thought about you through the entire process
My Mom- for all the cookbooks
My Oma-for the original recipe
Vahj-For motivating me with tales of your pickle canning!

Reminding you to-Live Spherically and sometimes...Hysterically!

Tips for Natural Cleaning

I am on this kick lately ... not so much a "going green" kick, but more along the lines of being convinced our parents and grandparents really had a cheaper, safer way to get things done that provide the exact same,  and often times; better results. In that light, I shall proceed with some "tips" to get your chores done in a pinch.

Natural Cleaning Solution:

- 1 tsp borax
- 3 TB white vinegar
- 2 cups water
- 1 TB dish soap
- optional: peppermint oil (or other essential oil)

Mix in a recycled (well-rinsed/cleaned)spray bottle-Label accordingly. Safe for pets. Eliminates breathing of hazardous chemicals. (By Dr. Oz)

Natural Disinfecting Spray:

-Two separate Spray bottles
-Fill one with White Vinegar
-Fill other with Hydrogen Peroxide
-Spray first with Vinegar, then with Peroxide.

It can be used on any surface in your bathroom!
This is, by far, better than any disinfectant you can buy in the store.  

Natural Deodorizer: 

-Baking Soda!

Bathrooms:

Tip For cleaning your tub or shower: Use the Baking Soda around your wet tub. It will make a paste then you can scrub it clean naturally. Rinse with your natural disinfectant spray for extra disinfecting!

Tip for getting rid of rings in your toilet: Make a paste of Cream of Tartar and hydrogen peroxide, let rest for one hour before scrubbing lightly.

Tip for cleaning your toilet: Use seltzer tablets! Drop two in the bowl, wait for them to completely dissolve, then flush. Your toilet will sparkle!

Tip for removing rust from from sinks, tubs and toilets: A mixture of salt and lemon juice- you may want to use a toothbrush to get in those crevices!

Tip for cleaning mirrors: Club Soda! Spray it on, wipe it off. It is cheaper and a much better shine than the leading glass cleaner.

Tip for soap-scum and mildew prevention: you can use car wax! Clean shower thoroughly first. Then rub a coat of car wax all over the tile. Be sure to not get it on the floor; it will be slippery! This will repel water and prevent mildew.

Kitchens:

Tip for clogged drains: Sprinkle 1/2 cup of baking soda down the drain, then pour 1 cup of vinegar. Followed by two cups of boiling water. You can do this once a month for prevention as well.

Tip for removing rust from steel items: Crumble up a piece of foil shiny side out, it takes a little elbow grease, but it works. For stainless steel, dip the foil into coca-cola and scrub.
 A potato, cut lengthwise, dipped into salt or baking will remove rust. Be sure to wet the surface lightly before scrubbing. Rinse thoroughly.  

Tip for stains on plastics: Set outside and let the sun naturally bleach them.

Tip to remove tarnish from your silver: Line a porcelain sink with aluminum foil. Lay your pieces of silver on top of the foil, making sure each piece of silver touches the foil, then pour boiling water to cover the silver. Add a cup of baking soda and let sit 1 hour. Remove the silver and dry. Polish with a dry cloth. This will save you time and money and your silver will shine!

Tip to remove burned food on pots and pans: sprinkle dry dishwasher detergent over the bottom, add 2-3 inches of water. Place in oven, or on top of stove, and heat until boiling. Remove from heat and cool until warm. Put a pair of glove on and clean. Grease and burned food will lift right off. This works great! Be sure not to let the water evaporate or it will be worse!

FYI: There are 6000x more germs in the kitchen sink than in the commode

Don't use a sponge more than a month because it carries germs from surface to surface.  

Have you tried any of these?

Do you have a few tips of your own?

Tell us about them!!!

References: www.priceless-home-remedies.com 

Terrariums & Theories

Ahh well the ideas that come to some of us in the wee hours of the morning...

Several years ago, I decided I HAD to have an aquarium, there was no rest until I purchased my brand new 55 gallon tank with hand-crafted solid cherry stand. I bought lighting equipment, gravel, tank accessories, live plants, and I do not even want to discuss the amount of money I put into filters, tank conditioners, vitamins, meds (for ick), bubble curtains, flake, freeze dried shrimp, feeder fish, and the actual fish; let's just say after calculating it...the amount was obscene.

So here we are, down to our last fish a plecostumous (sp?) that will just NOT die! He is huge, nearly as long as my arm. He has had the tank to himself for the last year or so and a few hours ago I walked in to find him dead. I should perhaps feel sad, he is the first fish I ever purchased and the poor guy has survived a lot of shit over the years but NO, I am relieved. Finally, no more fish.

Moving right along, I get to thinking just how much I actually invested in this take and stand alone; and I am not so sure I just want to get rid of it. Of course, I could really use the space it is taking up, but... at any rate this got me to wondering what exactly I could re-use it for and I could come up with nothing. Low and behold, I Googled it... and you would not believe some of the shit people do with old aquariums.

I came across something rather interesting, in fact it is almost a dying art. Terrariums!
Of course you see them amongst animal enthusiasts (vivariums) but how often do people actually walk into homes anymore and see a terrarium? I know they are out there, I know people still grow them... but I confess, I have not walked into a home since I was a child and seen a terrarium.

In the spirit of living "more spherically", I really got to thinking that, that is something I'd like to take a crack at. I already fancy gardening, it is something I have never tried and it is very much my speed in the sense that it is nearly a "set it, and forget it" (damn Ron Popeil) sort of thing. I have spend the last four hours brushing up on terrariums and I honestly think I can handle it. I am a little sketchy about what to plant however.

I was really leaning towards a carnivorous plant garden, but I have known several people who keep or have kept them, and it seems a little to advanced for my gardening skills. I am a mere novice yet. I am not much of a landscaper, my philosophy has always been "plant everything". Yet there is this little voice telling me, "what the hell, go for it".  If I decide to go for it, I plan to go with Nepenthes, Butterworts, and sundews. I would love to have Venus Flytraps, but I read on several sites that they do not fair too well in terrariums.

If I go the smarter route and start simple, which I hate doing...I have no idea why I am hardwired to do the hardest things first! LOL. I favor the Vrieseas, ferns, calatheas, sinningia, episcia, and perhaps philodendrons. I wonder if Bleeding Hearts would fair in the environment? I live in Northwest Texas and have always had a hell of a time getting them to grow in this dry, hot climate. And of course I love things that vine...Moonflowers are insanely difficult to grow here, and I think one vining plant in the tank would be beautiful. I imagine it would need some training, but the picture I have in my head it gorgeous!!! 


Does anyone have any tips? Or pictures of your own terrariums? I would be thrilled to see them!


This is Monika signing off... reminding you to Live Spherically!!

A dustin' and A Cleanin'

I have been one busy woman today. I woke up, I cleaned, I relocated the better half of the contents in my home to the dumpster...

Around Thanksgiving time last year a "friend" who hasn't been much of a friend essentually railroaded me into letting her keep her things here. The woman moved in the middle of the night from Florida to Texas, with two small children in tow. She used to be such a close friend but I am sad to say she has turned into your typical "Meth Mom". At any rate she dropped off enough items to completely fill an entire room after I said, " No I don't think so".  Shows up out of the blue, I felt terrible for saying no..etc. SO, she ends up leaving back to Florida a week later and leaves all her things here telling me she will return for it in two weeks. It seems her mother was scheduled for emergency open-heart surgery. Well, allegedly she get's caught with weapons (knives) on the bus and according to greyhound bus lines, it is a felony; but because she had two small children, they decide to let her continue the extra hour home with her children. They kept the knives.

About three days later Greyhound contacts her and they proceed to feed her with a line that if she would like to come claim her property etc... It turns out she was arrested on the spot and spend a week and a half in jail before she could bond out. Leaving her mother with her children, and unable to have her emergency surgery.
She rescheduled. So the woman in question is out of jail for about five days when she is arrested again. She collect calls me from jail to tell me she was busted with anhydrous and copped an intent to manufacture charge. Now, to my understanding, that alone is 24yrs?? (can anyone confirm that?) After finding that out, she contacts me again via collect call from jail and tells me she also was busted with 14grams of meth and in a stolen vehicle. At this point, I am thinking... okay, damn..you are fucked. For some reason she was really cool and almost delusional about it. I assume it is the drugs. I have no idea.

So, like I said, I figure she is going to be there for quite some time. I decided that I am not a storage shelter and I have had her items for far longer than 90 days, and I just have no room in my home because of her things. I would have put them in the shed, but again... no room. So I went through her things and kept things like her childrens' birth certificatesbut beyond that- the poor thing literally brought me garbage.

One bag was a 30 gallon black trashbag with literal garbage in it. empty bottles, food bags etc.

Now, I basically told you that to tell you this...
I have been insanely sick for the last 6 months or more. Symptoms including dizziness, nosebleeds, coughing and congestion, spontaneous rashes, nausea and anemia. I absolutely could not figure out what my problem was... So as I am cleaning her things out of my back room. I come across a bag of old toys that had obviously been rained on and they were moldy and mildewed - I never smelled the bag, but when I opened it... I am telling you the smell about knocked me on my ass. I had to haul ass to the ladies-with my hand over my mouth, it literally smelled like decaying bodies. upon throwing it out and getting rid of it, I realized I was feeling much better, more energetic, no constant coughing and sneezing...I just had a feeling of general wellness. Me, being me... had to run and Google mold allergy symptoms which are:

Coughing up blood.

Nose bleeds.

Dizziness.

Nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.

Chest congestion.

Difficulty breathing.

Anemia.

Skin rashes.

Forgetfulness and memory loss.

Pulmonary hemorrhage.

Death.

Yeah... I honestly feel lucky, and thankful for once that I can be a raging bitch!

So to conclude, I finished cleaning the rest of her things out with almost nothing salvageable.

A part of me feels terrible and incredibly rude, but it was obviously affecting my health...so what could I really have done?

Tomorrow, I really need to finish getting my things organized and getting things back in an orderly condition. It is a relatively small home, but I am practically a hoarder, so needless to say...I have a lot of organizing to do. I almost feel overwhelmed. Not to mention, I have had the "Lazy Bones" lately. 

Well this is Monika signing off...reminding you to live spherically!